Hey Princess The Camel, I Got A Cracker For Ya

A little biased aren’t we Princess? No shit your going to pick the Giants you live in New Jersey. Everyone knows that no one likes the Jets anymore. But I’m not even mad at Princess. You know why? She’s a f****** camel. I’m mad at this dude who is feeding her the crackers, and I’m calling bullshit. I want stats John. I want to know what hand she favors. Any day of the week I can go down to Roger Williams Zoo with some peanuts and have an elephant choose one hand. Does that tell me who’s going to win the Super Bowl? No. You know what it means John? Animals like to freakin eat that’s what it means. Here’s a prediction for you that I guarantee is right. If you kept both hands out Princess would have eaten both the crackers. Holy shit. Would that mean a tie, John? I’m willing to bet that Princess probably picks whichever hand patted her right that day. Someone hold up a picture of Tom Brady and Eli Manning and I’ll guarantee there’s no way she’s picking this:

over this:

 

 

 

 

I didn’t think so Princess. I understand the pick though. No way you could have kept your camel ass in Jersey if you had picked the Patriots.

Gronkowski At Media Day

Does anyone in their right mind actually think that Gronkowski isn’t going to play?I have a feeling that it’s going to take much more than a sprained ankle to keep him from playing in this game. Just to mess with people Belichick should not have him on the sidelines to begin the game. Then as soon as Kelly Clarkson is done singing the National Anthem they should have Gronkowski lowered from the ceiling while he screams “I’m Back!!!!!”.

P.S.- If his ankle was injured bad he’d still be wearing the boot. Day by day. Belichick mind games.

P.P.S.-The media made a huge deal about Tom Brady saying that he hopes we can have a party, but no one is talking about Antrel Rolle saying that the Giants expect to win? OK.

Perkins Dunked On By Blake Griffin

 

 Will someone tell Blake Griffin that you have actually have to touch the rim for it to be a dunk. Nice play though. Hey Perk, at least your not on the Celtics this year.

LeBron Dunks Over John Lucas. Still Not On Vince Carter’s Level.

 

Someone call me when LeBron dunks over a 7 footer in a game for his country. Vince Carter is still the dunk king. No discussion.

I’ll Take Belichick Over Coughlin Any Day

365 days a year, 366 on a leap year. I’m also hearing a lot of talk questioning Belichick’s draft decisions. For those of you who have forgotten who Belichick has drafted let me remind you:

1.Dan Koppen

2.Asante Samuel

3.Jerod Mayo

4.Vince Wilfork

5.Matt Light

6.Logan Mankins

7.Devin McCourty

8.Aaron Hernandez

9.Rob Gronkowski

10. Brandon Spikes

Oh yeah, and did I forget to mention Tom Brady? I’m not saying that Coughlin hasn’t drafted some great players. Not at all. Most of the defensive names on the Giants have been drafted by Coughlin. JPP, Tuck and Kiwanuka are all great players. Hakeem Nicks on the offensive side is arguably one of his best picks. But to realize how good of a coach Belichick is you have to add up all his decisions, not just his drafting. Coughlin is a good coach, but he hasn’t made the free agent and personnel moves that Belichick has. Having said that lets all remember that Coughlin is a guy who most people in NY were calling for to be fired a couple weeks ago. Now people are saying that he’s better than Belichick? How fast we forget. Belichick would never let that shit happen, believe that.

P.S.- For everyone in NY saying that Brady was talking trash at the sendoff rally, you should have heard what Gino Cappelletti said.

World’s Tallest High School Basketball Player

Meet Mamadou Ndiaye, from Senegal, Africa, the world’s tallest high school basketball player. Or as I like to call him, the next Greg Oden. Did this dude really just lose the tip-off? C’mon man, your 7′ 5″. No way you should ever lose a tip, especially to a team of little Asian kids wearing hot pink Nike’s. As soon as this dude declares for the draft Kim Kardashian is going to come running. 70 days later when she finds out he’s really 35 years old and has bad knees she’s going to be getting divorced again. This dude’s birth certificate is probably written in crayola crayon.

Did I Miss The Pro Bowl?

Why does the NFL still even have the Pro Bowl? Why do they have it after the Super Bowl? Does that even make sense? Why not have it after the Super Bowl and let the players from those two teams play? Seems stupid to name players who are obviously not going to play. They should just name two teams and not play the game and spare us the horror of watching a shitty game. My question is to those of you, if anyone, who watched the game: Why? Why would you want to watch a game that isn’t a football game? The rules basically make it impossible to play an actual football game. No blitzing, no press coverage, intentional grounding and no motion just make it stupid. Why not just let the offense line up against cardboard cut outs of the defense and let them play. Basically the same thing. I would be surprised if anyone even registered a tackle. As soon as anyone touches the ball they just fall down like they play soccer or something. What a joke. The only stat that I should have to mention that really makes the Pro Bowl a joke is that Brandon Marshall had 4 touchdowns. He had 6 all season. I should know because he was on my fantasy team and he was in no way Pro Bowl worthy. The Pro Bowl is a sad excuse of a representation of the talent of the best sport in the world.

P.S.- Someone should also tell the NFL to bring back the skills competition. I spent my time watching the Celtics lose to the Cavaliers. The f***** Cavaliers.

Someone Tell Irsay That Manning Made The Colts

Is Jim Irsay crazy or just delusional? Does he not realize that Peyton Manning single handily made the Colts what they are today? Peyton is the Colts. Period. Did Irsay not see what happened this season? You don’t go from being a playoff team to 2-14 because you lost a nobody. Bottom line is if Peyton had played this season we wouldn’t be having this discussion. If he hadn’t played this season we also wouldn’t be having this discussion becuase the Colts would have had the 1st pick in the draft for the last 10 years because Peyton is what makes this team great. If Peyton does get traded, I hope he wins a Super Bowl where ever he goes and that Andrew Luck is an enormous bust. That will put Jim Irsay in his place.

KG, Does Craig Sager Look Like He’s Ever Been In A Bar Fight?

The answer is no KG. Why would you even ask Craig Sager that question? Of course Craig Sager has never been in a bar fight. If he was ever in a bar fight he might mess up one of those suits he wears. That would be a shame. On another note, why would Craig Sager even ask KG if he believe Doc Rivers that they could get back into the game? Of course KG believes Doc. You know why? Because if they don’t get back into the game and win, KG and Pierce are going to get their asses traded, that’s why.  Craig Sager should put the same amount of time into thinking up questions as he does thinking about suits.

P.S.- Pierce and KG are getting traded. Jesus Shuttlesworth stays.

Wes Welker Engaged. Now It’s Time To Get A Ring Of His Own

Congrats to Wes Welker and Anna Burns on their engagement. Now that you’ve put a ring on her finger, time to put one on your own. Maybe he should have waited until after next Sunday’s game and gave her the Super Bowl ring? Ultimate power move.