Archives for posts with tag: Eli Manning


Why is this kid even on Jeopardy? I know that he is probably incredibly smart in other categories, but if you don’t know then don’t answer the question. I know that they may have not shown the picture right away but there’s no excuses in Jeopardy because Alex doesn’t play that shit. Instead of that question they should have gone with one like this that better describes Eli Manning-

Who is this New York quarterback who always has a remedial look on his face and recently appeared on SNL?


I bet that Kevin would have absolutely nailed that one. Who is Mark Sanchez?


This is why New York fans suck. You don’t even know the QB on the Giants? If you’re at the parade you shouldn’t have to pause for 5 seconds just to name a player on the team. If you pause for 5 seconds then name a player on another team, you should never be allowed in that state again. If all this is captured on film, you should probably look into changing your identity. They just won the f****** Super Bowl. Way to jump on the bandwagon. People have been talking about Eli and the Giants for 3 weeks straight now, and you can’t even name a player? I guess this is just a side effect of having 2 teams in every major sport, when some states don’t even have one. Spoiled. Once your blinded by Mark Sanchez’s white pants you can never go back.

If the Jets were smart Mark Sanchez wouldn’t even be on a NY Pop Warner team next year, never mind an NFL team. Sanchez wouldn’t be a starting ball boy for the Giants.

With the Super Bowl only a little more than 24 hours away, let’s take a look at some of the key match ups for Sunday’s game.

Patriots Offense vs. Giants Defense- This match up is going to be all about how the offensive line can hold up versus the likes of Umenyiora and Tuck. Everyone wants to talk about how bad the Patriots Defense is, but everyone seems to have forgotten that the Giants wasn’t far ahead in the rankings. If the O line can give Brady some time he should be able to throw against the Giants secondary. If Gronkowski ankle is fine, which it probably is, look for him to get the ball early. This should set up Welker and Branch for some passes. Also, look for Hernandez to line up all over the field as Belichick tries to catch the Giants off guard.

With the Giants weak secondary, I’m going with Ochocinco to have a breakout game. He’s been very focused during the week. Look for him to make a big statement after the unfortunate passing of his father a couple of weeks ago.

Advantage- Patriots

Giants Offense vs. Patriots Defense

Victor Cruz, Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham. This is the Giants offense. Ahmad Bradshaw is still somewhat of a threat, but Brandon Jacobs probably won’t be a factor  due to the fact that he likes to run up the middle. For the Giants to win they must have similar success as the Patriots Offense. Eli Manning has to be able to get it Cruz and Nicks. If the Patriots put a safety over the top, then look for Manningham to get the ball thrown to him. Look for McCourty to play safety over the top on Cruz, and Chung to play over Nicks. If the Patriots D can step up in the big situations like they have been and force field goals, the Giants are going to be in trouble. Look for Mark Anderson to get to Eli like San Francisco did.

Advantage- Giants by an inch

Outcome- This one could be close or a blow out in either direction. If the Patriots D from the past two weeks shows up then I have to give it to the Patriots. Like I said, score could be separated by one point or 20, I don’t really know. My gut says 31-24 Patriots.

All week long I’ve had to hear about the media bitching about how at the rally Tom Brady said that he hopes that they can have more fans at the party in two weeks. The media keeps bringing up this point in everything they say and I’m getting tired of it. I wouldn’t be getting tired of it though, if the media would bring up what the Giants have been saying leading up to the Super Bowl. Let me give you some quotes:

Chris Canty- “Get ready for a great game on Super Bowl Sunday and get ready for a parade on Tuesday.”

Antrel Rolle- “We are going to win this thing.”

Kiwanuka- “I think we’re going to win the game. You don’t come out here and say we’re going to go out there and give it our best. I believe every guy in that locker room thinks we’re going to win the game. If they didn’t believe that, they shouldn’t be in the locker room.”

So let me get this straight you’ve got 3 players on the Giant repeatedly guaranteeing victory and the media still wants to replay a quote from Brady saying that he hopes they can have a party next week. C’mon. Now the New York media wants to blow this whole Gisele email thing out of proportion. Remember that these are the same media members who a couple of months ago were basically worshiping everything that Tim Tebow did. Now they want to scrutinize a personal email of a players wife asking her friends and family to pray for the teams safety. Give me a break. To top all that off, Rodney Harrison said that he would trust Eli Manning more than Tom Brady. You’re going to trust Eli more than the man who won you two Super Bowls Rodney? E tu, Rodney? E tu?

A little biased aren’t we Princess? No shit your going to pick the Giants you live in New Jersey. Everyone knows that no one likes the Jets anymore. But I’m not even mad at Princess. You know why? She’s a f****** camel. I’m mad at this dude who is feeding her the crackers, and I’m calling bullshit. I want stats John. I want to know what hand she favors. Any day of the week I can go down to Roger Williams Zoo with some peanuts and have an elephant choose one hand. Does that tell me who’s going to win the Super Bowl? No. You know what it means John? Animals like to freakin eat that’s what it means. Here’s a prediction for you that I guarantee is right. If you kept both hands out Princess would have eaten both the crackers. Holy shit. Would that mean a tie, John? I’m willing to bet that Princess probably picks whichever hand patted her right that day. Someone hold up a picture of Tom Brady and Eli Manning and I’ll guarantee there’s no way she’s picking this:

over this:





I didn’t think so Princess. I understand the pick though. No way you could have kept your camel ass in Jersey if you had picked the Patriots.

Whatever he does with it, this DVD should probably be one of his first purchases. I bet you this is one check that John Elway never thought he’d be writing. Good thing quarterbacks usually get bonuses based on passing instead of rushing. Enough of this Tebow is breaking the QB mold bullshit. If rushing QB’s were effective then the wildcat would have lasted more than one season and Michael Vick would make it through a whole season. And if any Tebow fans out there think that Tebow is better than Vick than your crazier than I thought. I just feel bad for the quarterbacks who are making passing history who have to be overshadowed by this glorified running back who drops back to pass 1 out of every 10 plays. Wake up people. I even feel bad for Eli Manning, who threw for the 6th most passing yards in history this season. Maybe Tebow should pay for Eli to come teach him some passing mechanics or something.