Tim Tebow Found Kneeling In Front Of Sun Life Stadium With A Dollar Bill Pinned To Him

Thank the Lord, Tebow Time has finally ended. The only question now is where Tim Tebow will go now? Peyton has left a couple of teams in a tough place now that they’ve spent all free agency pursuing one player. The 49ers will probably crawl back to Alex Smith on their hands and knees, but the Dolphins are still in need of a QB. I never thought that I would ever say this, but I am in favor of the Patriots trading for Tebow if it means that they screw over the Dolphins. I actually just threw up in my mouth a little bit while typing this, but I managed to keep it down.  I just have to keep telling myself that Tebow would actually ever see the field as a QB if he were to play for the Patriots. Either way Tebow time is officially over and I am extremely thankful. I would like to thank Jim Irsay and John Elway, even though I hate Irsay and Elway has teeth like an actual horse. Either way I have to thank them for their integral parts in ending Tebow Time. Thank You.

How big of a kick in the balls would it be to the Broncos if Manning got hurt and they traded Tebow? That’s a ticket to the basement of the NFL for a good half a century.

Bears Steal Marshall From The Dolphins

In the first big move of the free agent period this off-season the Dolphins traded Pro Bowl wide receiver Brandon Marshall to the Bears in return for two 3rd round picks. While some say that this is a horrible trade for the Dolphins, and that the Bears got a steal, this trade can be looked at another way too. I’m looking at this trade as the Dolphins way of clearing space for their biggest target of the off-season, Peyton Manning. But they didn’t get rid of Marshall to make space for Manning. They cleared room for Peyton’s favorite receiver, Reggie Wayne. This is just another way that Peyton Manning is controlling this years off-season without even trying. Look for other teams in the race for Manning to load up on wide receiver talent as well as offensive line talent in attempts to sign Peyton. It’s going to be one crazy off-season that’s for sure.

Jets Forget About Last Year, Extend Sanchez’s Contract

And this is exactly why Rex Ryan and the Jets will always be a joke in the NFL. This is how they reward Mark Sanchez for last year? His reward for last year should be that they let him keep his job. But in the usual Jets fashion they go and do something stupid like signing Sanchez to a 3 year extension worth $40.5 million. A piece of me hopes that the Dolphins sign Manning and make the Jets rot at the bottom of  the AFC East with Sanchez where they belong. Don’t forget your white pants Sanchez.

I wonder how many pairs of white pants $40 million buys? Doesn’t matter they’ll probably all have shit stains on the back by the time the season is over.

 

 

 

Dolphins Fans Want Peyton Manning

This is yet another thing that I can, and will, blame on Tim Tebow. If it wasn’t for the fans in Denver putting up their billboard for Tebow, Miami fans wouldn’t have even thought of this. My only question for the fans in Miami is why do you even want Manning? I know that many fans in Miami would have probably taken a paralyzed Peyton Manning over what they had this season but it’s the off-season now. The Dolphins can have their pick of QBs from the draft or pick up a player on the free agent market, and yet the fans want Manning? You want a guy who has had 4 neck surgeries and whose arm was described as a “noodle”? I’m not saying that Miami fans are stupid to want Peyton Manning on their team at this point in his career, but they are Dolphins fans after all.

Ndamukong Suh Stomps Evan Dietrich-Smith Like Potatoes

Happy Thanksgiving! Special shout out to Ndamukong Suh for stomping out Evan Dietrich-Smith like he owed him some money. That’s exactly get people to stop calling you a dirty player in this league, stomp them out. You got to be kidding me with that weak explanation after the game man. You were trying to get your balance? Before or after you stomped him? But in the end it doesn’t really matter because it’s a fact that as long as you produce in the NFL, you can basically get away with murder. Just ask Ray Lewis, O.J. and Marvin Harrison. My only advice for Suh is that next time you decide to do something like this, don’t get caught. Simple as that.

Second shout out to Tony Romo. Keep throwing those picks bro, at least now they can’t blame it on Jessica Simpson. If they lose to the Dolphins, Tony Romo and all Cowboy’s fans can kiss their playoff hopes goodbye. I myself would blame it on Romo’s new wife Candace Crawford. Works the same way in New England when fans blame Gisele. Only difference with that is that Tom Brady doesn’t suck and Romo does.